As stated previously, with attempted humor, “I don’t smoke and I don’t chew… and I don’t go with girls who do.” I have considered adding, “…regarding pot, they should not.”

However, some well-meaning folks gave me a salve named “Weed Out Pain,” subtitled “CBD Rub,” which is an extract from cannabis designed to alleviate minor aches and pains, and this is timely for, at 90, I have minor aches and pains and I am pleased to report the stuff really works. The pain from an arthritic finger or lower back stiffness can be greatly reduced in a matter of minutes.

That said, that written, a new report from King’s College London’s Institute of Psychiatry, Psychology & Neuroscience states, “Around the world tens of millions of people use cannabis. It’s legal for recreational use in 11 states and Canada. It’s also approved to treat some medical conditions, but a new analysis highlights that the debate over marijuana’s health risks and benefits is complicated and depends on the active compounds involved.

“A review of existing research found that a single dose of the main psychoactive ingredient (THC) in cannabis — equal to one joint — in otherwise healthy people, can temporarily induce psychiatric symptoms, including those associated with schizophrenia.”

The finding continues, “The first takeaway is that, for people in general, there is a risk, even if you are healthy and taking a single dose, you could have these symptoms.”

So what’s a mother to do, or, more important, what is our Board of Supervisors to do? Well, they appear to be confused about pot, while approving the use of hard liquor, and continue contesting the benefits of weed.

Perhaps the Supes will agree that there is much pain in the world today, and if CBD can help a person get through the day and cope with our present administration plus the world-wide virus, they should be allowed to do so. Therefore, I urge the Supes to get off their well-worn seats and move to approve use of cannabis and, while at it, approve dispensaries for the same. The latter will create greatly needed local revenue and therefore partially offset the “stay at home edict” regarding the virus, which is having and will continue to have a devastating effect on our local economy. On all of our economy.

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For final instructions on how to deal with the coronavirus, heed this excerpt from the sarcastic humor department of The New Yorker.

“What if someone shakes my hand against my will? Answer: You will be fine if you wash your hands. But then scratch the person first. Then scream. You could say something like ‘You P…     !’: Or, ‘What the f… is is wrong with you.’ Then run and wash your hands and then wash them again and then pray to whatever God you pray to. But don’t panic. These things happen. And when we said the “crisis” we certainly didn’t mean a global emergency…but rather that the world, as you knew it, is over.”

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I produce very little original material of my own. Oh, maybe a poem here or a blasphemy there, but mostly my 3 dot column is full of the writings of others. However I now claim a first in the department of clever saying, and that is: “The Bible is actually a myth on steroids.” And yet your retort may be, “They didn’t have steroids in those days.” Well, they also didn’t have fact checks in those days to confirm the accuracy of rumors and assorted miracles. People repeated rumor often enough until some scribe thought, “Hey, now. There’s an idea that might bear fruit. Let’s start with an apple…”

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Do you talk with your hands? Actors are trained to speak their lines with their arms at their side, which is not natural for most of us to do unless vigorous movement is called for, to illustrate an important utterance.

For example, I watch old films on Turner Classic Movies, and the comedian ZaSu Pitts had a mannerism designed to show her nervous disposition at any one time by fidgeting with her hands and putting them to her face or on her neck or on her scarf, if wearing one.

Watching our President and our Vice President on television, I note Trump begins with his hands on the lectern, then they advance to being clasped  together in front of him, and then he spreads hands wide and then back in front of him several times. In so doing, he could be emphasizing the breadth and width of his subject or the importance of it. What is humorous about his gesture, is that his Vice President has picked up on it and emulates his boss’ motion when, and if ever, he is allowed to speak.

This gesture is jolly good fun for any of us to do, but we should refrain from doing so when speaking to someone on the telephone. Gesturing when on the phone is a possible sign that one is out of control and that is a prelude, not to a kiss, but to mental instability.

If, for example, you are watching our county supervisors doing so when addressing their flock, that is okay, for they may have no other way to communicate with their audience. But, if they were so unwise as to take a phone call while on the bench and gesture wildly, fear for them. They should be more pitied than censured.

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A blind man was walking along the street with his guide dog when it suddenly lifted his leg and peed against the blind man’s leg. Immediately the blind man reached in his pocket and fed the dog a biscuit.

A passer-by observed this and said, ”In view of what the dog just did, that was an incredible act of kindness.”

“Nonsense,” said the blind man, “I only did it to find out which end of him to kick.”

Robert Minch is a lifelong resident of Red Bluff, former columnist for the Corning Daily Observer and Meat Industry magazine and author of the “The Knocking Pen.” He can be reached at rminchandmurray@hotmail.com.